It might sound really bad but when you really think about it, even people with good intentions can get you in trouble. Look, it sounds bad however when you think about it, would you even lend your brother or sister a huge amount of money if the situation calls for it? Maybe if there are emergencies afoot, then yes it can’t be helped. However, everyone knows that money has always been a touchy subject and that it can be a quick way to end some friendships and burn some bridges. Been there and done that, to be honest. Seriously, my family itself is the epitome of this topic because most of the relationships within it became null and void just because of some financial issues.
This is mostly due to my dad being such a generous man and his siblings taking advantage of that. My dad is the oldest of his siblings so it comes to no surprise that he is the one that mostly carries the bulk of everything that has to do with money. The thing is, his siblings– my aunts and uncles– already have jobs of their own. Even when they could so clearly take care of their own businesses and problems, they still ask for my dad for help when he himself has already been struggling with his own family. Back when I was still in college, he already was having trouble with money since college is expensive. On top of trying to feed us and paying for the bills every month, he also had to take care of the school fees. And it wasn’t just mine either because my brother was also still in college. But the man still tried to help his younger siblings because he couldn’t leave them alone at all.
I really shouldn’t have been surprised with what happened next. When my dad was the one who needed the help, did you know which of my uncles and aunts pitched in and helped? No one. They didn’t even give any kind of excuse. My dad was in the hospital at the time and he needed the money for an operation.
However in the end, it was my mum’s hard work and determination that managed to save him. None of his beloved younger brothers and sister bothered with him. Their bond is still fine after all these years, but my mother however, will never forget. The way she looks and talks to them spoke of how much respect she had for them.
It was a hard time for all of us, except for my lovely uncles and aunts of course. I’m sure they were just fine while we were worrying out of our minds about my dad. And mind you, I don’t think they ever did pay back my dad for all those times he lent them some money.
So what do we learn from this?
If it wasn’t obvious enough already it’s that you shouldn’t expect help from family members who do nothing but take but can’t do anything when it came to giving. Ever since that day, my mum has been stopping my dad from lending any sort of sum to all my uncles and aunts. She’s the one who has the guts to say no so it didn’t really surprise me that she’s the one who put the foot down.
Listen, I know this is easier said than done but it wouldn’t really hurt to say “no”, okay? If you ever find yourself in a situation where your cousin or something needs money from you, it’s either you’re going to give it to them without expecting anything in return—treating it as a gift—or you learn to man up and say no. Because if you lend it to them and expect them to pay you back someday, then you’re going to be really disappointed. If you’re not convinced yet, it’s perfectly understandable but here is an article to convince you further: /should-you-lend-money-to-family/. Another one would be this one: https://www.moneycrashers.com/why-you-should-not-lend-money-to-friends-and-family/
This doesn’t even have to be limited to just family members. You can avoid your friends like they were the plague if they start showing signs of wanting cash. That being said, why not just become friends with people that don’t make it their habit to ask for money all the time?
So What Do You Really Do?
Your money is yours and you were the one who worked hard for it. You can do anything you want with it of course, and this includes lending some of it to people needing it if you’re the type of person with a bleeding heart. However for those who can’t take no for an answer, then maybe it’s time to rethink your choices in friends and which part of your family you want to acquaint yourself with.